The War Between Black Women and White Women


Dance (Photo credit: Wikipedia). Maybe she's reacting to "the war" going on?

The War Between Black Women and White Women

By jenni

I can’t tell you how many times I have heard that the white women are “taking the only good black men we have.” It was like it was my fault that a black man with an education or an ambition was interested in me. And trust me not every black guy that was interested in me was an upstanding citizen. Just like not every white guy that has been interested in me has been either. Black women blame white women for a lot of the interracial dating. I don’t like how there is an assumption that white women are stealing their black men.

Men are men. They are entitled to their preferences just like women are and when two people click they click. I feel like people always assume there is an ulterior motive when there is an interracial relationship between a white girl and a black guy. And I’m sure sometimes there is, just like with any group of people. You have gold diggers and manipulators and girls that are just trying to get pregnant but I don’t think it’s fair to assume that for all white women dating black men.

I am a very friendly person but black women never really seemed to be interested in having a friendship with me. You know that saying, keep your friends close and your enemies closer. I always felt like they knew of me and who I was and would sometimes even pretend to be friendly, but when it came down to it I was always an arm’s length away. There was always a wall between us.

I remember being in college and going out to a club. I loved to dance and have a good time. Because I was an athlete, I knew a lot of other athletes because we were in the same living quarters and in a lot of the same classes due to our practice schedules. If you looked at our football team 95% of the team was black, that’s not a generalization that was just the reality of it. Well it just so happened those same guys happened to like to dance and liked to go all out and party hard. When we would go out and we would see other athletes it was like seeing neighbors so of course you say hi and there was always small talk. As the years went on you grew closer and we became friends.

One night we were all out having a great time in the club. One of my favorite songs came on and we were jumping around being all silly. One of my friends who happened to be black came up and grabbed me to dance. I looked back and smiled and we laughed while we danced. While we were dancing another girl came up to me while we were dancing and pushed me away from him. Both me and this guy were single. There were no complications due to relationships or anything like that. Everyone knew we were friends and everyone else was dancing right along with us, but for some reason I seemed to stick out again. When this happened of course my friend stuck up for me and called her out and all his friends came in to defend me as well. Come to find out, this girl didn’t like me because I was friends with a lot of the football guys. She thought they should have been spending more time with black girls and I was being a distraction. But what she didn’t realize was by making a scene like that in the club she wasn’t helping her cause. They didn’t want the drama, they just wanted to be able to have a good time. So if she really wanted to be friends with these guys she should have tried other means to get their attention and keep it.

I found that some black women were the ones with the biggest problem with me dating interracially and made me the most uncomfortable. The attitude towards me being uncomfortable was “well you did it to yourself.” The worst part is, is that black women are “allowed” to be upset with white women but if a white woman gets upset with a black women over this topic, we are racist. And I’m sure they get frustrated but they don’t own these men. Black men are free to choose their mates like everyone else.

I am a 26 year old half Italian, half Portuguese girl from the South Shore of Boston, MA. I have dated both white and black men and do not have preference. I’m a contributor on

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